WHAT SHOULD I DO IF CONTACT IS STOPPED?
TRY TO REMAIN CALM:
DO NOT BECOME AGGRESSIVE, PHYSICALLY, VERBALLY OR VIA ANY SOCIAL MEDIA, TEXT MESSAGES OR TELEPHONE. THIS WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU. INSTEAD, TRY SOME OF THE STRATEGIES LISTED BELOW.
ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS FOR YOURSELF IS TO HAVE GOOD PEOPLE CLOSE TO YOU, PEOPLE YOU CAN TRUST. IT IS IMPORTANT TO OPEN UP AND SHARE YOUR WORRIES. FIND A SUPPORT GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN THERE.
DO NOT ENGAGE:
Refuse to engage in any arguments or conflict. This is not about winning, it is about what is best for your children. Think of what your children want and what memories they want to hold. They do not want to grow up bitter.
DO NOT HARASS YOUR EX-PARTNER:
Only contact your ex-partner in regards to your children. If you have no reply, keep a log of this. Do not attend your ex-partner’s premises unless invited. After these situations, parents often have harassment orders put in against them and this can make contact with your children very difficult. Many parents and their children are forced to use Contact Centres, which aren’t pleasant for their children. Protect yourself at all times.
GET A DIARY:
This will be the most useful diary you will ever own. Keep a log of every bit of information which may be useful in the future. Any times your children were refused to see you, or any times you may have suffered abuse yourself etc.
TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN:
When you do have much contact with your children, tell them how much you love them, how you do want to see them and explain that you are currently sorting things out with mum. Do not speak negatively to them about the other parent and just enjoy your time with them.
KEEPING IN TOUCH:
If your children are old enough to remain in touch via text, phone or video link then continue contact with them this way, as much as possible. Other ways to maintain contact with younger children is through sending cards, letters and little gifts via post, to let them know you are thinking of them.
DON’T GIVE UP:
The last tip and most vital… Do not give up because your children need you. If you are a capable and able father, you will be in your children’s lives.
REMEMBER TO LOOK AFTER YOU:
This will be one of the hardest things you may go through, so remember:
– Keep your mind healthy
– Stay around positive people
– Eat regularly
– Exercise daily
– Continue with your hobbies
– Read positive literature- Your priority is keeping stable and to be strong for your children